i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
