if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
