Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize