For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
