I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if i died would you start the facebook group?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
