So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
