just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
