Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
