I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i out mim tonsoeep
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