at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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