Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
