well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
