ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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