so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
