If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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