For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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