She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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