I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize