He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
