thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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