My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
