Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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