I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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