About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
