Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
