Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
