so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
