Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
