She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
