oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Alive.
So much puke
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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