Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
