When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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