Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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