im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize