My cat gives me a boner
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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