i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
