like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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