Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
