ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
