Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
