you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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