i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
