i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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