What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
