Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
