would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
