I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
