his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
