If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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