Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
