Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
