the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
