Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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