you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
