I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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