i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
