i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize