8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
