I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
